4.22.2010

An Open Letter to Steve Jobs


Dear Steve,

I hope it's cool that I call you Steve and not Mr. Jobs. See, I'm Stephen and chances are you're either Stephen or Steven yourself. That being the case, we more or less have the same name (I don't care if you're "ph" or "v" though everyone knows "ph" came first) and so we're already closer than random strangers, even though we are in fact random strangers. But I digress, and I haven't even begun, so let's move on.

Steve, here's the deal: anybody who cares and/or is any kind of tech geek (what's up my brothers & sisters!) knows that the 4th gen iPhone is coming. Whether that dude leaving it in the German-themed brew haus was a genuine epic fail or a full-on publicity stunt doesn't matter (my money's on the latter), we know it's coming. (If you're not Steve Jobs and don't know what I'm talking about, please use the Google.) There's an established track record of a new phone coming out each summer since the 1st gen came out. And AT&T has apparently suspended employee vacations for June, which it did for the last 2 iPhone model releases.

See, the thing is we've got this kid. We'll call him Malcolm, because that's his name. Malcolm likes shiny, flashy things. He likes remote controls and buttons on the dvd player and to turn on the stereo receiver and crank up the volume more than it needs to be. He's very much his father's son, except for that deal with the volume--that's all mom. As you might have already surmised, he's a big fan of the iPhone. Hee-yuge fan. He likes it so much that he hates it when we don't let him play with one. How much does he hate it?

This much:



That's the Mrs.' phone and that just happened when she tried to get the boy to play with the phone on the carpet and not over the tiles just inside the front door. The same tiles that caused similar, but way lesser, damage to my iPhone. He got mad and threw the phone down. And by the way, the damage to the phone in the picture is a whole lot worse. You just can't see it so well because the photo was taken with an iPhone (and 2 overhead lights!). That 5 mp camera (with flash!)... I can't wait... which, again, is my point.

Why the waiting game? Let's push things forward. Help an Apple household out. You've got us, ok, we're hooked. I've never used a PC in my life (and never will) unless I have to get something off somebody else's computer or had to do something on my parents' computers, both of whom I've converted to Mac users. We have 2 iPods, 2 MacBooks, 2 iPhones and we'll probably get an iPad at some point in the future. If you ever release an integrated tv/computer and/or a la carte tv channel ordering, we're gonna be all over those too. But right now, all that really matters is the phone, yo.

And just so you don't think we're total dolts, when we first got our phones back in 9/08, we had covers, sleeves, phone condoms, whatever you want to call them. But after a while we each decided, on our own, to go commando (i.e. naked). Mine got dust caught under the face screen and the back got scratched whenever I'd take it off to clean the face. Pam's kept catching on the fabric in her purse or pockets. It just got to be too much for us. I know, I know... look at the situation we're in now. In our defense though, Malcolm is pretty strong. Maybe a case would have saved my phone because Malcolm was sitting when he dropped mine, but I don't think it would have done much damage control for Pam's because the boy threw it pretty hard. Regardless, they're both cased now, though it's really just to keep the glass from breaking any more and/or slicing our fingers. We know we could have prevented or at least lessened the damage if we'd had some protection, but we didn't so we know we're at fault here, but still, there's no reason to wait any longer.

So look, we're eligible for the discounted rate on new phones in May. (Our AT&T contract is up in September & we'd love to switch carriers--Pam can barely make a phone call in the house, and like I said, you've got us--so feel free to give it to Verizon sooner rather than later, too.) I know you're busy working the magic and everything but if you could find it in your heart to do not just what's right, but what's necessary, and just go on and release the 4th gen phone, er, excuse me, iPhone, that would be really, really sweet.

Best,
Stephen Light