Photo Shower

Pictures from the first shower by Amy.

Anybody from the second shower got a link?

tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock

We're 33 days away from the estimated due date/D-day/B-day... 11/29.

Pam's in her 35th week. That's only 3 weeks shy of being full term. A pregnancy is full-term anywhere from 38 to 42 weeks. 40 is in the middle so that's what they use for the due date.

"We're about ready to pop here, honey."

Honeydew melon.

He's getting his introduction to music with a little Radiohead, Beatles, and U2 thru some headphones. He'll probably get some Beethoven too, maybe a little John Coltrane and Billie Holiday. Any other suggestions?

Also, 7 years ago today this happened:

"Ich bin expert!" ... "Yeah, well that's just your opinion, man."

An interesting thing with pregnancy is that even if you've only gone thru it once, you know so much more about it than anyone who hasn't gone thru it, or is in the process of going thru it. And even if it's been awhile since it happened, it's the kind of thing you never forget.

My question is: does that previous experience inherently mean that person knows best? With all due sincerity and respect, I don't think knowing more necessarily equals knowing best. Advances in philosophy and technology will change approaches over time (though those may be at odds with each other as well). 

We're using the Bradley Method and doing a natural birth. There's some basic info here and here. In conjunction with the Bradley Method, the birth will take place at a birthing center and be attended by a midwife, as opposed to at a hospital with a doctor. This all happened when we came to see that pregnancy is not an illness, but a natural and regular part of life. To us, it just didn't seem right to go to a hospital and see a doctor, who is trained to diagnose and treat medical problems, for something normal. Midwives have been assisting in births since at least 1900 BC, while doctors became the prominent pregnancy/birth caregivers in the US around the beginning of the 20th century, so it's not like seeing a midwife is flying by the proverbial seat of one's pants. We also don't want drugs entering into the laboring equation for a variety of reasons, but most importantly for us, is the potential of a slippery slope ending in a c-section.

I was initially opposed to the idea of going to a midwife. This was mostly due to having watched a neighbor leave her homebirth in an ambulance for a hospital when I was a kid. We started out with a doctor, partially due to that memory but also due to concerns with Pam being in her late 30s. Those concerns, however, were unfounded and all tests were passed with flying colors. We talked with Dr. Binford about some of our concerns with how things would go down in the hospital and the desire to avoid drugs. Unfortunately, the answers she gave were not really answers, but more passive-aggressive lectures, and "we'll do everything we can to do a natural birth, so long as its safe for the baby." We toured the hospital with about 10-12 other expectant couples. Pam was one of only two people to ask any questions. When those questions dealt with natural birth, the answer always ended with "we'll do everything we can to do a natural birth, so long as its safe for the baby." But never did we get details on what those parameters were or how they would be determined. We felt they were giving themselves leeway to be overly cautious to do things to protect themselves. But, many of those things seemed to be counterintuitive to the natural birthing methods we hoped to use and could in fact slow labor down.

One difference between midwives and obstetricians is that the latter practice medicine while the former do not. If Pam didn't pass all the tests with flying colors and wasn't having a low-risk pregnancy, we'd still be with Dr. Binford; the birthing center will not even accept clients unless the pregnancy is low-risk. Should anything change, or God forbid, complications arise, we'll go to a doctor at a hospital. We're glad they're around with the skills they have to help out in a medical emergency, and if we need those skills, we won't hesitate to use them.

In preparing for yesterday's Bradley class, I read this: "If someone were to say that in nine months he was going to throw you into ten feet of water, you would want to learn how to swim. Being pregnant, the same rules apply. If you know that at the end of nine months you are going to give birth, you should learn how."

If you know Pam and I reasonably well, you may know that we don't make decisions, especially major ones like this, quickly or lightly. We are contemplative and deliberate, sometimes perhaps to a fault, though not this time. We're doing all we can to prepare for the arrival of the little nipper. Is there a chance of making mistakes? Most definitely, because that's just how life is, especially when you're about to do something you've never done before. But I assure you we're approaching this with confidence and educating ourselves so that we're as prepared as we can be.

Everyone goes thru life doing what they feel is best for them (and/or their loved ones) in any situation, given the choices they have with which to work. For some that might be giving birth at a hospital with a doctor and an epidural. For some it might be at home, or at a birthing center, with a midwife. The when, where, and how doesn't change anything about the overall awesomeness of the event. It doesn't matter when, where, and how it happens as much as ending up with a healthy baby and a healthy mom. 

Kitchen Update

We've got countertops!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's glass with some green swirls in it that's been embedded into the concrete, which is a dark gray. You'll have to see it in person to truly see it. They were awesomely made by Sun McColgin; his website is here.

Showering

Had our first shower this past Saturday. Thanks to the McGroaches, Doolicks, and Friesenhausens for hosting and to everyone who joined us. Thanks also for all the great gifts. A large dent was definitely made in the registry! We've got one more shower this weekend and are glad to have one under our belt. Just might be getting the hang of this...

And hey, if you took pictures on Saturday, we'd love to get some copies for our personal collection and may post a few here, too. Or we could grab them off flickr.com if you use that. Thanks!

hi

i bet y'all thought i wasn't going to say a peep about this whole birthin' a baby thing.  admittedly, i'm not much of a starter.  i'm actually not much of a finisher either so what does that make me...a middler?  in any event, this is one process that is going to finish with or without me so i might as well give y'all my 2 cents.

i broke up with my OB/GYN today.  due to the fact that she told us not once, not twice, but three times that it "hurts her feelings" when people leave her practice (enough in and of itself to have justified a break up months ago), i fully expected some sort of seinfeld-like experience right out in front of everyone in her waiting room.  in reality i was the only one there and simply handed my request form to transfer my medical records to the receptionist and that was it.  after much pondering and research (and nothing but healthy check-ups and negative test results) we decided we'd prefer to see a midwife at the Austin Area Birthing Center.  i've got lots of reasons and supporting statistics - too many to list here.  suffice it to say that i'm simply not sick and would rather not be treated by those who specialize in illness and what can go wrong.  if, god forbid, something went wrong i'd want to be in a hospital surrounded by competent doctors.  but if nothing is going wrong (as is the case in 90% of births) then i want to be with the birthing experts, and i believe those are midwives.  (again, statistics abound - maybe in a future post.)  i also want to have a natural birth, without any unnecessary interventions, and the likelihood of achieving that in a hospital is unfortunately very low.  i need to be in a supportive, stress-free environment.  i'm excited about my decision.  i feel very strongly about it, and i feel strengthened by it, too.

Words

Sometimes people really need to think before they speak. Especially to a pregnant woman. Things get rewired in their body. They have a greater sense of smell, strange desires for food, etc. These things happen in their brains, so you'd be crazy not to think that their perception of things said doesn't change as well. As a dude, I've found dealing with a chick in an up-close and personal type of relationship to be an exciting adventure where you never quite know what might happen. Re-wire her system and stick a growing, developing parasite in her belly and it's a whole different kind of adventure.

So it's always interesting to hear people's opinions on what Pam (and/or us as a couple in this here baby-makin' episode) are doing wrong or how crazy it is to be doing this or that. The interesting factor is also affected by if they've gone thru this themselves or not. Sure, everybody's got an opinion, and they usually think (sometimes they know) they're right. (It's kinda funny when it's inconceivable that anyone could think differently. Or maybe it's just sad.) Decorum often prevents me from telling them to STFU, but I certainly think it.

And I include myself in this semi-rant too.

Kitchen Photos Update

We've painted the kitchen, built all the cabinet frames and here they are roughed in place. A couple of steps closer....

Kid A Registry Info

Invites to the first shower are out and those for the second shower will be out soon. Yes, guys are invited (there's going to be beer to ease the pain). No, there won't be any baby shower games (also to ease the pain). 

Here's where we're registered:

babies r us--search under Pam or Stephen Light and/or registry #73806740. 

Target--search under Pam or Stephen Light and/or registry #014399700134721.

Austin Baby--that link goes to the gift registry info page and this link goes directly to our page.

Special Addition--no registry here, but a good place for Pam to get some maternity items and other baby things too. They do gift certificates.

This stuff can get expensive so if you want to tag-team with somebody, go for it; we won't be offended.

The purple dragon theme has been slain. Instead, he's going to have a big retro-style robot mural in his room. So anything with robots on it would be cool in place of the same non-robot items that are on the registry.

Based on some reading we've done regarding child development that says the best toys are 90% kid, 10% toy, we're looking for things that don't have a ton of flashing lights and buzzing, beeping noises, like a lot of the newer activity-type toys have. Think old school (like plastic keys and big blocks). See this link for more info.

We're also wary of the recent rash of lead-posioned toys from China, so feel free to avoid them. One alternative would be polished wood toys.

And if you're already a parent and see something totally useless on one of the registries, or we're missing something that made your life so much easier that you highly recommend, please let us know. We've asked questions about lots of things and read reviews of almost everything, but still, we're flying blind here.

nom nom nom nom nom nom

A few years back we were going out to a couple of parties with Rob and Robyn. Coming along with us on the first part of the night was our other friend Vance, his baby mama Brandy, and their baby, Jonah. 

The first party was a birthday shindig for a camera person Rob works with and also for someone's roommate, so there were a few film people we knew there, but then plenty of people that we didn't know. Brandy is carrying Jonah around bundled up in a sling from this room to that room. Pam and I have been hanging in the back yard but go inside because we each have to go the restroom. As we go thru the kitchen, we see Vance and Brandy in a circle of people. She's talking to some girl, kinda punkish looking. From our point-of-view and their body language, it seems like they know each other and we go about our business.

Dissolve to: a little while later. We're back outside when Brandy comes out and announces that the punkish girl we'd seen her talking with just said she wanted to eat Jonah.

"We thought you knew her," we said. She said she'd never met the girl before. She just came up and they started talking and then all of a sudden she said, "Man, I'd really like to eat your kid right about now."

"Am I wrong to be totally freaked out?" Brandy asked. "Is that a normal thing? To tell a total stranger that you'd like to eat their baby? Because then she kept repeating it: 'I'm gonna eat your baby. I'm gonna eat your baby.' "

"Some people's sense of humor...." someone said. 

"No, I don't think so," Brandy said. "She was waiting for a response and, like, licking her lips."

About this time the back door opens and the punkish girl comes out with a friend. Their beer cups are empty and they have to get thru us to hit the keg.

Punkish girl to her friend: "See, look, you know he's just going to be all soft and tender."

Maybe the chick was an actress because she did not have that sparkle in her eye that says, "I am totally messing with these people," which is what Pam and I had just been thinking. Someone's just screwing with you. 

As if on cue, the punkish girl says to Brandy as she walks by, "Seriously, I would totally eat your baby. Just... well, you know," and walks back into the house.

We all kind of look at each other and laugh at the freakshow who just passed thru our lives. For whatever reason, we don't co-mingle with the rest of the party for the remainder of the time we're there and Brandy never takes an arm off Jonah.

Cut to: last week, Pam and I are working on the registry and going thru the clothes section. There's all these little clothes and little shoes and it's hard not to scan everything. I'm a guy and as such there's an unwritten rule that I'm only supposed to use the word "cute" in the context of a good-looking girl. But walking around looking at the camo shorts and the Kenneth Cole outfits and the size 0 Chuck Taylors, it was total cute overload. 

And all I wanted to do was eat everything I saw. I just wanted to put it in my mouth and commence to gnawing. Sweater---nom nom nom... overalls with a moose on them---nom nom nom... little man tracksuit---nom nom nom... 8-pack of socks that won't fit on my finger---nom nom nom NOM NOM NOM!!!

However much I might have thought punkish girl was just messing with Brandy, I now know that she definitely wasn't. She just couldn't help herself.